on being still

Taking time to be still looks different now. Having a little put a new twist on the whole thing. Life is pretty chaotic with a babe. Life at home can be even more chaotic when you watch another newborn half of the week. {Note – I am sure when we have more and more kiddos I will look back and laugh at how “chaotic” I claim life to be right now} Nonetheless, life is different and being still looks different than it used to.

This morning I tried to get a bit of stillness accomplished like I did in the old days. I took E on a walk to a favorite local shop and enjoyed some coffee and a good read.

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I read a paragraph and then played with E, read a bit more and then played with E, and repeat.

I also spilled egg yolk all over my leg…

It wasn’t the same as it used to be. It was good and sweet, but not as “still” as I remembered it being. Probably due to the egg yolk and the little one. Earlier this week, however,  I found the most stillness in an absolutely chaotic moment.

Monday was a trying day.

I had 2 cranky, I just want to be held little ones and a majorly energy-induced Summit.

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This was not how they looked. Summit was running in circles, J was crying, E was crying, I was crying.

And in that moment, somehow, I found stillness. After trying EVERYTHING to comfort and calm the little ones I finally stopped.

I soaked everything in.

I breathed.

I was still.

And do you want to know what I thought of?

I had a baby who was crying with no end in sight with me who had a full bottle in hand and arms to hold and rock them to sleep…but yet he didn’t want any of it. He wanted to take care of himself. He didn’t need help. He would just cry.

I sat there. Breathing. Looking at the sweet crying boy….and I saw myself.

I saw myself flailing my arms. I saw myself tired and hungry. I saw myself in tears and out of breath when all I needed to do was be still, soak life in, breathe, and let the God of comfort COMFORT. He has died for me, redeemed me, loved me, and planted in me everlasting joy and new life.

We don’t need to go to a coffee shop to be still and rest in that truth.

Let’s take time to breathe even amidst the chaos.

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